Essays -  Winter, 2013

by Randy Roche, SJ


Below is a title and brief description of each essay. To read an essay,  click on its title.

Trees - We do not expect to live as long as oak trees or giant sequoias.

Fire - We do not deliberately set a fire within ourselves.

Push Back -  A push back is literally a start for a journey.

Give Up - We give up to God whatever we wish to offer.

G.O.F. - We act on beliefs of all kinds, often with very little reflective thought.

Sure - We like to be sure of ourselves when deciding whether or not to accept a line of thought

Appointments with God - Appointments with God do not have to be lengthy.

Thinking and Feelings - We do well to check both the facts and how we feel about them.

Water and Spirit - Just as our physical efforts can have effects upon our spirits, our spirits have effects upon our physical being.

Year of Faith - We become able to enjoy the fullness of all that exists when we exercise the faith we have.

A Year - We can take an affective and therefore effective look at some of the lights and shadows of our year.

Birthdays - Without ours, we wouldn’t be. Without Jesus’, where would we be?

Trees
Trees continually grow. When they stop growing, they die. Like trees, we also grow, as long as we live. We do not increase in height; we certainly do not put out additional appendages, such as arms or legs, but even physically our bodies continually grow new cells that replace old ones. But, as embodied spirits, are main area of growth is not physical, but in our thoughts, values and motives and in the ways we fulfill our purpose in life.

Most of us enjoy the presence of trees in all their variety. They are not only pleasing to our eyes, but also connect us with nature. We perceive more than the bark and branches, roots and leaves, and are at times moved with appreciation for the gift of life even in a form so apparently different from our own. We plant trees, and nurture them, but we do not make them. Like trees, we too are not self-created. Though we are unique individuals, we are communal and interdependent, which often brings us much joy and pleasure, though at other times sadness and pain as well. Through our interactions in all manner of relationships, we can recognize our own connection with nature – human nature.

Though we appreciate the beauty of shrubs, flowers and grasses, trees are easier to identify with as individuals. We can see in them many qualities that we value highly. Trees remain steadfast in all kinds of weather, favorable and unfavorable; they do not try to appear as any other tree, but retain all their own characteristics whether they are in an urban or country environment. We admire in trees some of what we respect in one another: continually adapting to present circumstances, always reaching for the light, no matter what the surroundings, and never ceasing to grow.

Though trees to not of themselves move from place to place as we do, yet we use the metaphor of “grow where you are planted” in praise of the human virtue of being one’s self in all the unchanging or unchangeable personal qualities that are ours, as well as within the circumstances of our environment. Trees are not considered “stubborn” for being the kind that they are, nor are we, when we make decisions according to the values that make us who we are. We adapt, we change, we learn through experience, but the “tree rings” of our growth are manifested by the way we take responsibility for all that we say and do.

We do not expect to live as long as oak trees or giant sequoias, but we hope to proceed to a mode of life in which we will at last be able to fully appreciate all of God’s creation, and relate in utter clarity with the very Person of God. For now, we can appreciate the gift we have, as our kind of creature, that enables us to look at trees with our eyes, but move from physical sight to internal thoughts and uses of imagination that characterize our ongoing human growth. Our roots are directly in God, while we are yet part of this earth; our growth is not primarily towards the light of the sun, but into the very person of God.

Trees turn out beautifully as long as they are within the proper environment. Our beauty depends upon our freely chosen response to God.

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Fire

Fire can heat or burn, illuminate or cause smoke. Experiences of interior fire can vary from energizing warmth to injurious passion, from bright clarity to cloudy confusion.

During an ordinary day, many thoughts cross our minds. Some are creative ideas, some are contrary to our values and others are of no consequence. Creative thoughts, and also those that are disordered, evoke feelings, sometimes surprisingly strong feelings.

The heat generated from creative impulses is usually accompanied with peaceful energy to sustain us when we put an idea into action. For example, we might receive the idea of arranging a party to please a family member or friend, and we find that we are able to do all that must be done with clarity of mind and peace of spirit. We might say that we were “fired up” to accomplish our desire.

Another kind of fire might burn within us when thoughts about real or imagined injustices come to mind. At such times, feelings can run quite strong, and move us in directions that would cause harm to us or to others if we allow the feelings to rule us, or the thoughts to multiply, adding more and more fuel to the fire. We have a right to our feelings of anger, which are wholly appropriate responses to perceived injustice. But if we do not take care in the management of such fire, injurious burns result.

When interior fire is paired with creativity or inspiration the results are like those that occur when a person is exhilarated, even if exhausted, after having accomplished a worthy goal. Someone wants to be of help for a friend who is ill, but at first does not know what to do. But if a thought comes, surprisingly appropriate, the fire of excitement makes the deed possible of accomplishment and also satisfying. Likewise, the internal blaze that arises in the presence of injustice, when informed and channeled in accord with our values, provides us with the energy required to act appropriately, even in the presence of fear or hostility. When we know that we must act, anger can support our words and deeds in ways that reasoning alone cannot supply.

We know that a fire can be arranged safely in a fireplace, campground or other containment, and we know of instances when an uncontrolled fire has been extremely destructive. We do not deliberately set a fire within ourselves, but we have experiences when a spontaneous blaze provided the heat we needed to speak or act rather than to remain passive. Perhaps we have also been through a different sort of incident, when a blaze went out of control for a time and caused some kind of burn. We can best deal positively with the heat of anger or a seemingly ungovernable passion by first acknowledging to ourselves that this is our fire, ours to use for purposes of heating or ours to damp down to prevent injurious burning. While no one else can manage our fire for us, we can consciously invite God to inspire our thoughts and imaginations so that we will be able to bring heat and light rather than burning and smoke to all that we say and do.

“I came to bring fire to the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled!” (Luke 12:49)

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Push Back

When children play, if one pushes, the other pushes back, according to their version of playground justice. In airports, a push-back is the first movement of a plane from the passenger terminal toward the runway. In spirituality, Ignatius of Loyola identifies pushing back as an appropriate response to fear, which relates directly with the first two examples.

Fear, which we might experience as doubt or anxiety that occur while we consider making a decision to say or do something that matches authentic inspiration, is like the experience of a child who happens to be in the path of someone who does not believe in waiting for his or her turn to use a swing or other piece of playground equipment. While we adults might counsel children not to push back, lest a situation escalate, we can understand a child’s anger at being treated unfairly, and a certain kind of balance that is achieved if the push back is equal and opposite to the first shove. When anxious thoughts of possible suffering, failure, or similar thoughts that induce fear pushes against us, we suffer an injustice of sorts, and have the adult prerogative of immediately pushing back in exactly the opposite direction, rather than retreating from the good we were set on choosing. The faster and more child-like our response to fear by trusting that we will restore balance by pushing back, the less suffering we will have from uncertainty and distrust in our own good intentions.

If we give consideration to contrary thoughts and accompanying negative feelings that arise when we already have in our hearts a sense for what is right for us to say or do, we will delay or even fail to begin the good deed that was ours to begin. An airliner can only take off on a planned trip when the push back from the loading area has taken place. A push back is literally a start for a journey, as is a push back against the literally mean-spirited thoughts that would keep us “safe” where we are, but prevent us from going where we want to go, even if some risk – real or only proposed – is involved.

We might have doubts and feelings of anxiety when we are about to try something new or unfamiliar, as when we agree to take even a minor leadership position with a diverse group of people whose interests and capabilities we do not yet know. But we cannot begin our journey with them until after we push back, drawing on the strength of our conviction that we have sufficient knowledge and accompanying desires that validate our decision to go forward. No internal or external rule requires that we give “equal time” to the fearful thoughts and feelings that arise when we make a free decision based on reasons of both mind and heart together.

Adult spirituality requires reflection upon experience, which we do not expect from children while they are playing together. Pushing back is an appropriate analogy for the conscious and free decisions we make to firmly proceed with the plans that we know are better for us and for others, and not to attend to the thoughts and feelings that would deter us.

We have not only the right but also the responsibility for pushing back when a movement opposes us that is contrary to God’s justice at work within us.

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Give Up

When children wrestle, and one gains a hold on the other, the question might be asked, “Do you give up?” The one being held has to decide whether or not to continue struggling. During Lent, some people choose to “give up” something, in the sense of refraining from a practice, such as constant use of electronic media, or from eating a particular food or drinking a favored beverage. By so doing, those who initiate and maintain such a practice deliberately seek benefits, such as experiencing solidarity with the poor, which are more valuable than those they could obtain from whatever they give up.

We can also use the expression “give up,” when we choose to direct some concern of ours toward God or when we wish to place our very selves in God’s hands. Though God is everywhere, we commonly use “up” to indicate the inner, spiritual direction of our intention or desire. We might, for example, use the gesture of opening the palms of our hands facing upwards as a physical sign of releasing to God a thought, prayer, emotion or memory, or our readiness to receive help, healing or inspiration. We do not believe that the interaction between God and us has anything to do with the physical directions of going up or coming down, but we are comfortable with saying that we give up to God whatever we wish to offer.

If, on our own, we give up a harmful habit, of course we gain such things as self-confidence and purposefulness, and likely some physical advantages as well. If we give up the same habit to God in conscious prayer or intention, we also receive interpersonal assistance and affirmation. When we choose to place before God any of our plans, hopes or desires we transcend our status as lone individuals seeking to improve ourselves, and enter into a caring, cooperative, and interactive dynamic with God.

Even as we might give up to God a thought, concern or intention, we might retain a subtle kind of control that would lessen the breadth, depth and meaningfulness of our act. We would not want friends or family members to harm themselves in a mistaken effort to do something for us. God, who knows and loves us more than we know and love ourselves, does not want us to offer up anything that is not truly in our best interests. Generosity is one of our best qualities, but we are limited in our capacity to foresee the consequences of our actions. Since we cannot really “surprise” God with a spontaneous gift, we do well to consult before offering a decision to act. We do not need a long discussion, but only a very brief moment of inner awareness as to whether or not our intention has about it the signs of inspiration or of self-will.

When we seek to become aware of God’s initiative in our thoughts and desires, and let ourselves be guided as to what is best for us and for all, whatever we give up to God will then be an act of loving trust.

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G.O.F.

In this age of acronyms and abbreviations, I hereby offer a set of initials that carries no patent, is not described in Wikipedia, is not explained away in Urban Legends and will not be found in any dictionary: G.O.F. for Gift of Faith.

We do not need to think about breathing, but we inhale and exhale, all day and all night. We might not spend much time considering the many ways that we speak and act according to our values and ideals, but we do so quite often. And we might not reflect on faith, though our beliefs have much to do not only with our quality of life, but the value we place on life itself.

Though some people avoid the use of the word faith because they associate it with a particular system of beliefs or a religion, we all have inner thoughts and sayings that we employ for guiding us consciously and also unconsciously when we are making decisions. We acquired some of these beliefs or inner words from our parents or from persons who were particularly influential in our lives. With little effort, most of us can recall some rules we accepted when we were young, such as “always match your pairs of socks,” and might be amused to find that we have perhaps internalized some of these sayings into beliefs, not only about pairs of socks, but also about keeping all like things together. We act on beliefs of all kinds, often with very little reflective thought.

Our human capacity to make choices based on freely held principles that we utilize as guides in forming our words, actions, thoughts and prayers, as well as in all our relationships, is as marvelous a gift as is our ability to think or even to act. We are surrounded with all kinds of limitations, both in terms of material physical forces, and also in terms of our own personal knowledge, experience, health and many other realities. But our beliefs and our believing are not limited by forces outside us or by any of our personal characteristics. Beliefs are ours to choose and to exercise, however much they might be similar to, or dissimilar from, others’. The gift of faith is, like all real gifts, ours to accept or reject, to use or not to use, but faith is as much a reality in life as is breathing.

Faith is not a creation of our own, but a gift that paradoxically originates in the faith that our Creator has in us – trusting us to choose appropriate responses to all the internal and external movements that affect us. We know from our experience that no one, including God, forces us to make an act of trust in anyone or in any proposition, to believe or to disbelieve, to have faith or to deny faith. We can become fully appreciative of a very practical reality through reflection: most of what is good in life is directly related with our beliefs. If we believe, for example, that life is worth living, we go about it with all that we have and are. But if we disregard our beliefs, we suffer the consequences of disorientation, as much as if we refrained from using the steering wheel while driving a car.

One profitable and brief personal exercise: consider the positive effects of the G.O.F.


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Sure

We like to be sure of ourselves when deciding whether or not to accept a line of thought, or a suggestion for making a change or trying something we have not previously experienced. We would like to have certainty, but we often find that we cannot be sure that we are making the right decision.

When we trust another person, we always do so with an element of risk. When we trust our own capacity to make decisions that have significant consequences for us and for others, we also risk making mistakes. With a little reflection and prayer we can usually avoid making decisions that are contrary to who we are, to what we believe at heart, or to what we hold to be true. Though trust is not a sure thing for us, we can hardly make any choices as all without relying on our capacity to trust both ourselves and others.

Developing trust in our decision-making process grows through experience, but not automatically. We learn from experience by reflecting on key aspects of our decisions, including not only the external observable consequences of our words and actions, but also the interior movements in our spirits. We might, for example, receive thanks from others for doing them a favor, which would seem to affirm a decision we made. But if our interior state is that of disturbance with a sense of having betrayed a well-made promise to not get involved in the situation, we have powerful information from within that invalidates: not the deed – which was good from others’ perspectives - but our decision. By means of such reflections we learn how to say “no” as well as “yes” as we recognize the appropriate responses to make in particular circumstances. And, we rightly become more trusting of ourselves in making decisions.

Though we cannot be sure that each and every decision we make is the best of which we are capable at the time we make them, we can put more trust in our decisions if we test them against the criteria we have developed for truth, and by consulting others we trust, especially God. We can give conscious attention not only to all the reasons that come to mind, both for and against, but to the important difference we can observe within us between those feelings of peace that can even accompany the recognition that we might suffer, from the feelings of disturbance that accompany threats to our integrity even when there is nothing to fear of a physical or emotional nature. In addition, we are often able to recognize a gentle but wise caution not to “run ahead of grace” by making a decision before we are prepared to deal with whatever consequences might follow.

Though we might not always be sure of ourselves – our motivation, our interior freedom or our knowledge of all the relevant facts, we have sure access to God. And God is pleased to help us open our hearts with an ever greater desire to act rightly, more than in helping us to be sure that we are “right” in every decision we make.

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 Appointments with God

For many of us, making an appointment with a medical professional is something we do only when it is necessary; arranging a date, time and location for meeting someone for a friendly meal together is normally a pleasant option. We make appointments with people for a great variety of reasons: recreation, business, service, meeting some of life’s necessities or personal interests. We might also set specific times in our days for mental, physical or spiritual purposes such as reading, taking a walk or appreciating beauty in nature or in works of human creativity.

Some of us make plans for optional meetings with God, as are meetings with friends, though we might think of some appointments with God as necessary when we are sick at heart or otherwise troubled. Though we can make brief contact with almost anyone though use of electronic media or telephones, and can encounter God at any time or place, we set up appointments as normal means for ensuring that we will have the quality time together that we desire.

One kind of appointment with God is for prayer, such as reciting prayers or reading scripture passages, engaging in honest conversation or being together in quiet companionship. Even people who live together might make appointments for special events that would otherwise not take place spontaneously, or they plan for a conversation about a serious matter that will require preparation beforehand. When some of our thoughts run contrary to bringing a particularly sensitive issue to our relationship with God, setting an appointment to consciously and honestly deal with it is a very wise thing to do. Many of us have found that, in any significant relationship, the sooner we can talk about a matter that weighs on our hearts, the sooner we recover peace in our hearts.

Appointments with God do not have to be lengthy, but we will find more satisfaction when we allow enough time to let ourselves be fully present to the encounters. If we ask someone to dinner, we think of a particular kind of place that would be pleasing to the other person or persons as well as to ourselves. In making appointments with God, location is not an issue, beyond having sufficient privacy and freedom from interruption. We will, just as with making appointments with friends, consult our experience as to whether one or other place seems more advantageous or less for our desired interaction.

Though it appears that we are the ones who initiate and organize appointments with God, we might recognize elements of invitation for such meetings when thoughts spontaneously occur suggesting them. God is always more interested in communicating with us than the other way around, so we might find, upon reflection, that we receive many gentle reminders during an ordinary day about meeting with the only Person who is always present wherever we might be. Even if we make the appointments, God is never late, and never has a conflict such as “double-booking” that would present an obstacle to our being together.

What will we talk about, if we make appointments with God? We might have specific incidences to deal with, just as couples do, or friends who meet regularly: those that are causes for gratitude, hurts and joys, anything and everything that engages our minds and hearts. Some things in life are especially appropriate for conversation with God, such as healing of our spirits, forgiveness, and all that we cannot change by our own powers, including acceptance of our human limitations.

Where, in our personal calendars, are our appointments with God?

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Thinking and Feelings

Oil and water must be shaken violently to mix them, but thinking and feelings should be treated gently for them to complement each other. We mix oil and water when we want to use them, as in a salad dressing. Thinking and feelings already exist compatibly within us, not so much for our use but as oriented toward our well-being as fully alive, active and involved people. Whenever we separate the two for any extended period of time or while making an important decision, the results are worse than pouring oil on a salad, and then water.

We might confuse both aspects that are so integral to our internal processes by using the two words, thinking and feelings, to mean the same thing. Or, we might not have appropriate words that we can use to describe the workings of our minds and hearts that are so complementary in negotiating most aspects of our lives. For example, many of us say that “we think that it is right to fulfill our responsibilities,” and interchange that expression with “we feel that it is right . . .” Neither way of describing our commitment is incorrect, but for purposes of making decisions that are wholly in keeping with our values, we do well to check both the facts and how we feel about them.

To arrive at an integral experience of knowing “this is right” when we make decisions, our minds alone are as insufficient a resource as are mere emotions. So as not to be led to false conclusions, we do well to clarify within ourselves the particular subject of each decision: what it is about, what we are thinking of saying or doing or leaving unsaid or not done, plus some of the advantages and disadvantages, and also what information we can use from our previous experiences. The second requirement for a fully human decision includes recognition of our interior perceptions of peace and of positive resonance with our thoughts, or the opposite sensations of disquiet and of dissonance with the subject of our considerations. Thinking, together with feelings, provides the essential information we need.

Each of us develops our own particular “language” for our interior dialogs – the process by which we engage a variety of thoughts and feelings. Some of us find helpful the Ignatian distinctions of “consolations and desolations,” in which our thoughts might be accompanied with such affirmative interior movements as faith, hope or especially love. The opposite would be when our considerations elicit doubt, confusion, lack of trust, or a diminished sense of caring. No matter what words or concepts we use, all of us can benefit from taking some occasions to consciously note what kinds of feelings are directly associated with specific thoughts. At the level of spirituality, when our intention is to “do the right thing,” thoughts that are accompanied by consolation and positive feelings, are far more likely to be better for decision-making than those that are attached to desolation and negative feelings.

God is good, and creates us such that we have positive feelings about what really is better for us and for all, and experience negative feelings about those considerations that are less helpful. In such a way, God is pleased to assist us in our decision-making without in the least bypassing our essential freedom to love or not to love. No matter how intelligent we might be, relying on intellect alone for making decisions is like using only one leg for walking. There are facts of another order that we call feelings, which are not imagined, but which exist independently of thought. They are directly tied to thoughts and verify them as authentic or as inauthentic, true or false, helpful or hampering.

When walking, we usually move one leg at a time, and so we move forward. In making decisions, we might attend at one moment to our thoughts and at another to our feelings, and so we make progress.

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Water and Spirit

With the pouring of water at a baptism, the Spirit brings about an effect in a human that has more significant consequences than when the recipient was born. A mere physical interaction with such spiritual effects seems extremely disproportionate. Water and Spirit can apparently exist in a combination that is far more beneficial for us than any mixing together of water and oil. We can touch and affect the spiritual by means of the material: very important for us who are both physical and spiritual.

For example, taking deep breaths and doing some stretching exercises do not cause prayer or bring us into direct contact with God, but such a practice allows for and supports spiritual experiences. If we cannot directly and easily enter into a peaceful, meditative mode, we can ordinarily make use of physical actions to help us in reaching a state of mind we could not otherwise achieve. Without some effort on our part, communication with God or anyone else would not be possible. But if we take simple initial steps that are within our power, such as taking up a book or an article, attending a meeting or going to a church, we are far more likely to have experiences that nourish our minds and hearts than if we only wait for initiatives to come from outside us.

From another perspective, even the ordinary physical or material means that we use on order to help us consciously engage our spirituality often begin from inspirations. Whenever a thought occurs to talk to someone we know about matters of the heart, we are most likely the beneficiaries of small but loving invitations. When we accept them, more can happen. We take a step, and momentum builds. Only thinking about making a call to someone who might appreciate hearing from us, or wishing to become more active in volunteer service, is not enough. But if we only take some small but real action in the desired direction, we might be pleasantly surprised by where we end. We do what seems right in the moment, and then become aware of some attendant positive consequences that, had we known we could experience them, we would have chosen them. The source of all inspiration is interested not only in our own welfare, but in that of the entire world about us that we influence through our basic attitudes of hopefulness, trust and care as much as by our words and deeds.

Just as our physical efforts can have effects upon our spirits, our spirits have effects upon our physical being. For example, praying does not usually make all pain, difficulties or challenges disappear. But when our interaction with God is more about honestly acknowledging our present interior state than on stating what should be done according to our viewpoint, we find ourselves more at peace with the realities we cannot change, and also peacefully aware of next steps that we can take. When we decide, at the beginning of a day, that our attitude is, for example, to expect and trust inspirations, we are quite likely to recognize and act according to more of such experiences than if we start out our day only with thoughts of what we expect to be doing.

Water and Spirit: a graced combination for our lives.

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Year of Faith

What thoughts and images arise at the words, “Year of Faith?” Information can easily be found on the web, but if we engage in a reflective and imaginative exercise, especially if we choose to be open to the movements of inspiration, we might very well find some pleasing and even surprising possibilities.

To think of a whole year of some kind of additional exercise or work might not appeal to already fully occupied persons. But if we imagine that we have the leisure of many months for encountering light in the darker episodes of our lives, and deeper joy in the lighter incidents we experience, we are free to proceed without any burden at all. Exercising faith is not like going to the trouble of putting on more clothing for a cool day, but like turning up the collar of what we are already wearing as all that we need to keep our necks warm. We already have faith; we have only to use it to see more clearly the benefits that are present in the events of each and all of our days.

We can start anywhere we want with faith, looking around with expectations similar to children on an Easter egg hunt: something is there, waiting to be found. In our care for children, we place treats where they may be discovered, and which cause momentary delight in the finders. But faith uncovers realities that have always been present, and once we recognize them, we are liable to change for the better, not just for a moment, but for life.

For example, we all need love, not merely to be happy, but in order to live a meaningful life. If we exercise our faith to the extent of believing that we are loved, we can look at our interactions with all kinds of people and recognize some of the ways we are loved, which in turn supports us in loving others. We do not “invent” such a belief. Rather, we admit to ourselves that we cannot honestly support the opposite proposition, that we are not loved. The more we reflect on the many small ways that many people care for us - some who are friends, but many who hardly know us but treat us with respect - the more our faith will enable us to acknowledge the various expressions of love that are a part of our lives.

Faith is also the means to recognize the presence of God in the ordinary events of our lives and in the many interior movements that affect us. Without much difficulty we can believe in an all-surrounding creator. Exercising that belief can enable us to see signs of a loving presence in all that scientists and researchers, artists and food-providers as well as writers and teachers continually make available for us to consider. We do not impose something on reality that is not there. Rather, we become able to enjoy the fullness of all that exists when we exercise the faith we have.

We might want to imagine a year for expecting that we will find positive meaning and purpose in the bumps and bruises as well as in the naturally acceptable encounters that occur each day. Our faith enables us to trust that God will be with us in good times and in those that are difficult. We live in this world which is God’s gift for us, if we choose to believe in such love.

A year of faith is not for the sake of worrying about the absence of leaders who could somehow make everything fine for us, but for recognizing, in many details of our lives, that which really makes the world go ‘round: not money or power, but Love.

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A Year

We live one day at a time. On some days we might reflect on our experiences, especially the blessings, gifts and positive interactions that we have initiated or have received. But what thoughts and feelings do we have about a whole year having passed, one day after another?

Any single day might include extraordinary, even life-changing consequences, but we are used to the succession of days, and often look forward to a better day if one has been particularly difficult, and we are not troubled when a really fine day passes; we will usually have more days ahead of us, and so we keep on with one day at a time. But when a year is past, never to return, and we are a year older, we might want to reflect on that much time as a whole, and enquire of ourselves whether or not we want to make one or more adjustments to our habitual ways of thinking, believing or acting.

Rather than merely writing up some resolutions for a new year, we can take an affective and therefore effective look at some of the lights and shadows of our year that become clear upon reflection. In opening ourselves to such an inner exploration, we are liable to notice that we are assisted or inspired, moved by intuition or grace, and so become aware of some personal realities of significance that we might not otherwise have perceived. Even if we have been reflecting on a daily basis, noting especially the events and decisions that elicited gratitude, we still might profit from a brief review of a year’s worth of experiences.

We can choose a time and place to consciously revisit some particulars in our past, but if we do so with the understanding that we look inside ourselves in company with God as friend, we will profit far more than if we insist on making a mental exercise that is entirely of our own construction. Our best option is to carry on a kind of quiet conversation about persons and events that come to mind, and to do so gently, without anxiety. The purpose of this exercise is to become aware of those attitudes and consistent manners of deciding and acting that seem fitting, so as to cherish and continue such behavior, and to acknowledge the unpleasantness of those that did not prove to be of any real benefit to anyone, so that we might not so easily repeat them.

We have changed in some ways over the period of a year, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Some of us might recognize a clear need to make an age-appropriate modification to our eating and drinking, physical exercise and perhaps spiritual exercise. We might know that we have to put some things into our personal calendars or they will never happen, such as taking a walk, reading a book that feeds the soul or taking time to be with others even without an “agenda.” With the help of honest evaluation, and from the perspective of a year, we might see more clearly those actions that are more important and those that are of less value to us, and find that we have the inclination to decide on at least one habit that can be set aside in favor of a practice that our hearts tell us is more reasonable, appropriate, and desirable.

Whatever is truly helpful to us is at the same time pleasing to God, who loves us all year, every year.

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Birthdays

Birthdays have a variety of meanings and attached feelings that arise from reasons other than the number of years being commemorated. We can think of birthdays as occasions where the most important feature is to celebrate that a person we care about is here among us. Our concern is for the people themselves, not primarily the amount of time that they have been in this world. The number of years since someone was born is a numerical notation that identifies one aspect of a person’s life, but definitely not the most important.

We want to learn the birthdays of people we know not so we can compare their number of years with ours, as if that could represent the main bond between us, but to learn something personal about them that will help us relate as a fellow human. Knowing even the date of birth of someone provides us with a possible point of interaction, as when we compare one another’s place within the yearly calendar of seasons and events. Each birthday can be related to other dates that are familiar to us, such as 9/11, July 4 or any date of common interest, thereby affording opportunities for imaginative and creative conversations.

The birthday of Jesus is also an occasion for conversations and celebrations, but especially for deepening the bonds of friendship with God. Like us, he was born. Though Jesus does not have a birth certificate for a particular year, month, and day, we are glad that he was born whenever he was. If we wonder at times whether or not we really have a relationship with Jesus, we might reflect on our habitual positive response to his birth. We can see little children wanting to pick up the baby in a crèche display, as they readily identify with a little one. Only later will they, as we, wonder at how God who creates all that exists manages to enter our world the same way as we all do, by being born. The more we come to appreciate the mystery of this God-human connection, the more we can resonate with the person whose birthday we celebrate.

Only people have birthdays, but here is the eternal God, as human, with a day of birth. We might ask, as did Mary when she was invited to be the mother through whom this birth would take place, “How can this be?” Even if we do not understand how this can be, we might recognize how greatly we are affirmed in our humanity by the historical event of God, in Christ, having a birthday.

The birthday of Jesus is an occasion for celebration: sometimes in ritual gatherings, as at a Christ-Mass (from which we receive the word Christmas), or at parties of various kinds where Jesus, even if his name is perhaps rarely mentioned, is the bond and the cause for our gathering. If we live as those who are glad at Jesus being born, then we are in a friendship with God that does not end even with our death. We are due, in this unique friendship, to have another kind of birthday: into the life of the “Son of Man” who was born, died, and is risen.

Birthdays: without ours, we wouldn’t be. Without Jesus’, where would we be?

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Updated: 04/07/12