Collections of Spirituality Essays, accessible by links:
Winter 2009    Spring 2009    Summer 2009    Fall 2008

To read one of the following essays which have recently appeared in the "Features" section of the Center for Ignatian Spirituality's home page, click on its title.

Backhand Grace - Experiences of backhand graces are common among us.

Don’t Be Afraid - One of the best ways to deal with fear is to talk to God.

Herding Cats - God herds us gently, even if sometimes with frequent reminders.

Costumes and Disguises - We enjoy recognizing others and being recognized by them.

Angels - We find something angelic both within us and about us.

Backhand Grace

I suppose a sports writer could say that a tennis player delivers a backhand stroke with grace, but my thoughts move in the direction of graceful moments in our lives that only appear as such when we take a reverse perspective. For example, any interruption to an intended action rarely seems a blessing at the moment. Afterwards, we might recognize that the forced pause in the work we were doing enabled us to summon a clearer focus on what we were doing. Experiences of backhand graces are common among us, and become more frequent as we acknowledge them and become increasingly appreciative of them.

All that seems good to us, that which we call grace, gift, insight, and inspiration, is welcome, and is usually received with gratitude. Hits and hurts, inconveniences and setbacks, are not perceived as good for us, and yet often contain something of great value if we reflect and look for the hidden benefits. We do not deny the negative aspects of an unexpected health problem or an unjust accusation. But neither do we want to miss out on any of the gains that might also be present.

If we miss an airline flight, or someone who promised to meet us at a particular time fails to do so, we are inconvenienced at the least, and perhaps suffer other negative consequences that follow the missed ride we had been rightly expecting. Without pretending that nothing is amiss, we might look for some concealed advantages that really are present. Aside from some near-miraculous event (while we were waiting, we received unexpected information worth thousands of dollars) we will most likely find truly helpful gifts that are present within us or in the immediate environment when we make the effort to look for them.

One rather frequent backhand grace is interior: rather than to increase pain or frustration by dwelling on the difficulties and other negative aspects of unpleasant realities, we are led to turn our attention towards possible advantages that might be present in the situation. Whenever we deal with a difficulty by exercising creativity in looking for some true benefit, we have already made a radical choice, however small it may seem to us, that brings light into darkness.

Most of us can recall times when we became quite angry or upset about a perceived failure to achieve what seemed a reasonable and desirable goal, only to find out some time later that the “failure” was the occasion that led us to make a change to another life-goal, one that became truly satisfactory, and more fully in accord with our gifts and deepest desires. We learn about ourselves not only through moving from one planned success to another, but also by accepting the doors that close for us as invitations to look for another that will open. After meeting what seem to be insurmountable obstacles to our well-being, we make new beginnings that we now recognize as being wholly appropriate for us as we are.

“Backhand graces” might not be our favorite mode of proceeding, since they are always preceded by some undesirable challenges. But, when the alternative is to do nothing but dwell on the presumed injustices of life, “backhand graces” make a profound positive difference for us.

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Don’t Be Afraid

We have been told, many times, by friends and advisors, not to be afraid of someone or of something. Though such words are intended to be supportive and encouraging, they seem to suggest that all we need to do is to put an end to such feelings in order to bring order and peace to the situation. But we are not in charge of feelings which arise spontaneously; we sometimes experience fear or anxiety as we face a challenge, such as a change in living conditions. Rather than directly altering our feelings, we need to deliberately modify our thoughts and intentions so that the feelings of fear might dissipate as a consequence.

Since we cannot avoid experiences of fear and anxiety, we can choose not to “be” afraid, by committing ourselves to facing the causes of fear, and to moving through or past such feelings. By this means, we do not remain afraid. We do not allow fear to be a major factor in the decisions we make. We look beyond feelings of fear to our deepest desires, and turn our attention towards the things that we want to do and to achieve.

God, in creating us, gives us a gift in our ability to experience fear, but does not directly elicit fear in us; God does not play with any of our feelings, least of all one that is negative. But fear serves to catch our attention, so that we might make appropriate decisions. Without some experiences of fear, we might not acknowledge the realities of our vulnerability, and think and act as though we were the ones around whom the world revolves. Unpleasant as are feelings of fear, they can provide occasions for reaching out to God, with the end result that besides not being overcome by fear, our relationship with God deepens.

One of the best ways to deal with fear is to talk to God, not only about our burden of fear but especially about the thoughts in our minds that are intimately connected with, and likely the primary source of, our feelings. In a context of “desperation,” caused by fear, we can open ourselves to inspiration and become enabled to distinguish fact from fiction, reality from imagination, truth from falsehood. When we decide to look for help, healing, and a way forward, we diminish the power of fear to push us in a direction that we would later regret having taken.

In an age when many politicians and members of the media deliberately rouse fear as a means for seeking some measure of control or influence over us, our freedom to live according to our values and in keeping with our dignity as children of God depends greatly upon whether we merely react or deliberately choose to respond. We already suffer one injustice through the attempted manipulation of our feelings; we do not have to suffer additional injury by letting ourselves be pushed into beliefs or actions that no God of Love would ever urge upon us.

“Don’t be afraid” - for any longer than it takes to notice the feeling and to decide to deal with it.
 

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Herding Cats

I have heard the expression “herding cats” and have used it myself in describing the difficulty of attempting to organize, guide, or in some manner bring to unity a group of individuals who value their independence rather more than their reliance upon one another or their responsibilities for a common good. Cats do not generally run in packs, and we humans can sometimes resemble them in our insistence on remaining in control.

God is often described as the Good Shepherd, which presumes that there are flocks - of sheep. Sheep do tend to remain in flocks, and those who wander off are identified as strays. Not many of us see ourselves, at least in most aspects of our lives, as sheep. Though we might belong to teams, clubs, and organizations, we can also be as independent and as self-led as cats. How does God go about “herding cats” in such a way as to be given the title “Good Shepherd?”

I have no memories of being forced to join a flock of sheep. Most of us have experiences, if we choose to reflect, of having been influenced in making decisions about engaging in common enterprises, from a parents’ club, to an exercise group, to faith-sharing meetings, or to any number of possible organizations. We were influenced by what friends or those who know us said or indicated; we have been influenced by what we have read or seen in publications or other media; and we have been influenced at times by some strong attractions or desires from within us. Though we might have been subjected to pressures from without or within, we made the decisions in relative freedom to join groups in which we would not be the sole decision-makers. We decided that we could help achieve something of value together with others that we, as independent individuals, could not bring about on our own.

God herds us gently, even if sometimes with frequent reminders. Most of the guidance we receive is by way of invitation, not command, and quite frequently by means of enlightening both our minds and our hearts so that we resonate with the invitations that are for our own welfare and that of others. Most shepherds, most herders of any kind, take care of their flocks partly for their own benefit. The Good Shepherd only has our best interests in mind. We retain our freedom, including at those times when “greener grass on the other side of the fence” appears to us as the better option, and we stray from the integrity that is ours when mind and heart are in accord, and also stray from the communities where our integrity is supported.

Music that delights us is not imposed; we recognize without needing explanations or descriptions the kinds of sounds that encourage, inspire, and please us. Though we might resemble cats in that each of us likes our own particular kinds of music, all of us recognize inspiration and invitations that somehow bring us together with others in shared events, common projects, and communal organizations of every size and type where the “music” of each harmonizes with others. The Good Shepherd works with us at least as much from the inside as from without. When we respond to the “sounds” of the suggestions in our minds that bring hope, trust, and love, we experience the One who herds. Likewise, when we interpret the suggestions, demands even, of other persons and of circumstances outside us as also coinciding with hope, trust, and love, we experience the Good Shepherd.

Whatever metaphorical names we might use for ourselves, God knows well how to call us each by name to the individual and communal decisions that give us life to the full. For our sakes, God has taken on the role of “herding cats.”

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Costumes and Disguises

One Halloween, I walked around parts of a college campus where I was rather well known, wearing a mechanic’s coveralls, dark glasses, and a ski cap. I also walked as though one leg was stiff. No one recognized me. Very soon, the pleasure of the “perfect disguise” gave way to a sense of isolation and separation from those I had thought to entertain. Unless one is a spy, what good is a disguise if the secret is not discovered so as to become a source of shared pleasure? We enjoy recognizing others and being recognized by them in spite of changes we make to our expected appearance or manner of acting.

When God uses a disguise, it is for our sake: for the joy that is ours when, appreciating the actions of people in our lives, we come to recognize also some aspects of God that we would not otherwise have perceived. God is always God, just as we are always ourselves no matter how we might appear to others. But we learn about one another through many individual encounters, not through one single meeting. We might learn through a helpful conference with a medical person or a counselor that God is also for us a healer. That is, we benefit from what another person does for us, and in a moment of reflection we are surprised to recognize that God was also present in the circumstances, skills, and care of that person. The experience of such discoveries does not diminish the significance of the human persons who help us, but increases with our awareness of the simultaneous presence of God. The joyful surprise we receive is the wider, deeper, broader vision of God’s love and care coming to us in, with, and through all the positive human interactions we have, as well as from our direct experiences of God.

Most forms of acting, from major stage plays and films to children’s productions for family members, make use of costumes in order to help set a context and to approximate the appearance of represented persons. Whether costumes are carefully designed or spontaneously put together from immediately accessible materials, audiences agree to use their imaginations so that the attire becomes integral to the story presented by the actors.

Many stories that come to us from Scripture, religious traditions, and other trusted sources include mention of persons who bear to individuals and communities Godly messages, helpful guidance, and powerful challenges, and who seem to be sometimes humans, sometimes God. Perhaps, for our benefit, we can rightly consider that all the characters depicted as providing instruction, inspiration, and help of any kind in and through such stories are all really of God, in costume. Why would God appear in a variety of ways, unless to draw us into those stories and gift us with the pleasure of discovery? We are sometimes direct in our manifestations of friendship and in our caring for one another, and at other times we leave messages or do things that our recipients might later come to understand as gifts from us. God is like that, and shares with us a propensity towards expressing love creatively through the use of our imagination.

We cannot help but have concepts of God, just as we do of everyone we know. Do the images in our minds fully coincide with who the other persons are? No more than anyone else’s ideas of us can encompass all of our personality and previous experiences. One of the ways God helps us to continue adjusting and expanding our concepts in the relationship is through the use of costumes and disguises. By appearing to us in forms we can immediately accept, God helps us to move past or through some of the false or limited ideas we might have. By means of the surprises and revelations of God we find through those costumes and disguises, all the stories become the one story of God and us.

We do not have to work at discovering God in our world of persons; God is carefully using costumes and disguises to make the revelations work for us.

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Angels

We frequently use the word “angels” not as a statement of religious doctrine, but by way of expressing grateful admiration for experiences we have that are benevolent and touched with transcendence. We might say “Oh, she’s an angel” of a woman who graciously provides healing for a hurt we have received, or “He’s such an angel” of a boy whose patience and cheerfulness in difficult circumstances amazes us. In the 70’s song, “I have a dream,” the words “I believe in angels” evokes a sense of hopeful optimism in people both young and old. All of us receive help that is at times both surprising and very welcome.

“Angels” evoke aspects of our lives that are at least as important to us as food, clothing, and shelter, finances, politics, and work. Giving and receiving care, having our needs met and seeing to the needs of others, the anticipating of problems and the providing of their solutions are examples of angelic traits that are at the same time our most humanizing qualities. Without these, life is dull and without meaning or purpose. No one can get up in the morning and go to work, or initiate an activity, without having some kind of purpose. We thrive on shared care and concern.

Whether or not we believe angels are involved, we have experiences that can be explained by science only to a certain level, not their ultimate sources. To ascribe some of our experiences to the actions of an angel, or spiritual beings, or God, is at least as reasonable as to elaborate a scientific hypothesis that might partially explain them, but cannot be proven. We did not create the world we live in. Nor did we make ourselves capable of understanding, or of loving. Yet we aspire to grow in both knowledge and love, and we find something angelic both within us and about us as we apply what we learn in life to our welfare and that of others.

We try our best to explain all that we observe in the world. But the more we learn, the more there is to learn, as we continually discover, for example, through the images taken by the Hubble telescope of mysterious objects in deep space. We cannot wait to achieve complete comprehension of either the physical universe or even of our own individual thought processes before making decisions and moving ahead with life. Using a word like angels when we try to describe some of the very practical and personal help we receive for negotiating challenges in life is in accord with reality, but we cannot prove to anyone that we have received assistance from a source outside ourselves.

If we rely on our sense of honesty when we explain to ourselves or others the encounters we have with “angels,” our sense of gratitude will grow. Otherwise we might be inappropriately concerned about what “they” might say. We do not need their approval to use concepts and names that we and other sane and good people find acceptable. We need the approval of our hearts as we seek words and concepts to identify the experiences we have.

We can take some words of Scripture as a starting point for imagining all kinds of personal, caring help that we receive along our way, from spirits giving us inspired thoughts to friends and family members supporting us with encouraging words: “He has given his angels orders about you to guard you wherever you go.” (Ps. 91:11)

Reflecting about angels is another way of counting blessings. Rather than examining our hours and days for all that went wrong, we choose to look for those experiences – even those that might be painful – where we have been enabled to live as beloved children of God.

Angels: Welcome, all.

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